Some handy pointers for those new to the game.

• Reaching the bus driver is not the time to start thinking about where your ticket or money is. You should be ready by the time you get to the front of the queue.
• If it’s not your stop but you find yourself on your feet and moving seats, you’re doing something wrong.
• Don’t stand in the aisle and hold boarding passengers up while you take off your coat. You’ll not burst into flame waiting for a lull in foot traffic.
• While the handle on the back of the seat in front of you is for your use, bear in mind that whenever you put your weight on it, that person’s chair moves. It’s also not a toy.
• The above rule becomes invalid if the person in front have you has reclined their seat.
• A reclined seat in front of you is fair game for bumping as many times as possible.
• If you put your jacket over the back of your own seat, expect items in pockets to go missing and small tears to appear on the garment itself.
• The head rest of the chair in front stops becoming a valid place for your hands a soon as someone sits in that chair.
• Whistling is never acceptable.
• Settled on the bus is not the time to apply hairspray or to use nail polish (or remover). While the bus isn’t airtight, solvents aren’t fun.
• If your child is kicking an occupied chair or hassling another passenger (this doesn’t extend to crying babies), guess what? It’s your job to control them.
• Picking a ringtone for your new phone is a task to do in private.
• If any part of your body its occupying the aisle, it’s your job to get said part out of other people’s way.
• Sounds for games on your phone should be switched off.
• Ringers on phones are allowed so long as you can hear them. If you have headphones that block out your ringer, the phone goes on silent.
• That magazine I’m reading isn’t also for you. Neither is the text message I’m writing.
• If you’re traveling on a free ticket, you lose all right to complaining about the service, other passengers or rule violations.